On Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Writing Contests

One of my favorite blogs for writers is Kristen Lamb’s. It never fails to entertain and enlighten. Her post today was timely. She wrote of how writers cannot please everyone, and how the perfectionists among us fall prey to that old ‘people-pleasing’ habit that destroys our passion and our art—a reminder I needed since I recently entered the world of writing contests. She said:

“I’ve seen this happen time and time again… [Writers] rework and rework…trying to make it ‘perfect’—which is actually code for ‘making everyone happy.’ Here is the thing. Not gonna happen. Ever. One person will say our book is too wordy. Another wants more description. We add more description and then another person is slashing through, slaughtering every adjective and metaphor.”

Go read the entire post, my writer friends. You’ll feel better for having done so.

When I decided to join the Romance Writers of America® late last year, I did so unsure that I’d actually written a romance, but quite certain my stories included a ‘strong romantic element.’ The amazing array of resources the association offers their membership is impressive. It was only later I learned about the world of contests. Not all contests are created equal, but almost all offer feedback in the form of extensive score sheets from judges. The preliminary round judges are volunteers, members ranging from readers to published writers. Most chapters train their judges on how to review and score the entries, and the final judges are publishing industry professionals giving the finalists a chance to get their work before editors and agents.

Despite having put my first manuscript through a rather rigorous three-month-long, invitation-only revision workshop, and having many beta readers, both writers and readers, friends and strangers, I decided I might benefit from the impartial feedback of these contest judges. I entered my manuscript in a few, then a few more, also entering my sequel to see if it stands alone. Over the last two months, I began receiving my results. It has been, and continues to be, an educational and eye-opening experience—not for the faint of heart—but I’m confident no different from the range of response I would get from rank and file readers. I can say without hesitation, the process is well worth the time and expense if you can enter the contests with an open mind and a thick skin.

Which brings me back to Kristen Lamb’s comments—before you enter these contests, it’s important that you are confident in your story and your craft, enough to recognize and utilize worthwhile criticism and resist the urge to please everyone. My score sheets have ranged from perfect scores and high praise to embarrassingly low scores and scathing remarks. One judge wanted to “start a fire” with it and another proclaimed the heroine was an unlikable “uppity bitch.” But for every comment that kicked me in the teeth and made me shake my head, there were plenty that made me want to kiss the judge, especially the ones expressing a desire to see my manuscript in book form so they could buy it and read the full story. However, the most beneficial comment that I kept seeing over and over, on low and high scores alike, whether they liked the characters or not—they were intrigued and wanted to keep reading. THAT is what I want, and that alone told me I needed to trust my gut. That’s not to say I didn’t take a lot of great criticism and put it to use. I did and still do if I believe it improves the manuscript…and if it pleases ME.

I am happy to say the manuscript was chosen a finalist in two contests, WRWDC’s Marlene Awards and  Chicago-North RWA® Fire and Ice Contest, and went on to win and receive full requests from the final judge in each. Fingers crossed it pleases them, too.

In Appreciation

My first manuscript, SOUL TIES, is complete, or at least for the most part. I still wake in the middle of the night with words I know I must add in specific passages, but it’s all minor at this point. Although it only took me a couple of months to write the first manuscript, it’s taken the better part of a year to truly finish it to a point where it’s ready to put out there. I made the same mistake many writers make on their first manuscript; I started the query process too soon, well before it was ready. Live and learn—learn being the operative word there. 

The manuscript I have now is very different from what I started with, and I have several people to thank for that. I’ve been fortunate in having great beta readers who took their duty very seriously. For the beta reading process to work, you need to find readers willing to say things that might be hard for you to hear. To grow as a writer, you must be willing to listen objectively and then figure out what you need to do to remedy those issues they raise. I wanted tough critics, and I was lucky to find a great group of savvy professional women who were all avid readers. With the exception of one, all my first readers were entrepreneurs, and I knew they understood how important truthful feedback could be to success. The one exception in that group happened to be a sitting judge, someone else who would have no trouble expressing her opinion. She happened to be a “blind reader,” set up by a mutual friend so neither of us knew the other. She would be free to be as critical as necessary, and that fact bolstered my confidence that her critique wouldn’t be tainted by friendship. I’m happy to say that I finally met her, and her excitement about the characters continues to spur me on every day. Each one of my betas has given me something invaluable, and I can’t begin to express how thankful I am for every one of you – you know who you are!

           

Another important group of people who deserve recognition is my classmates in Barbara Rogan’s Next Level Workshops. Her Revising Fiction workshop helped me tighten everything and give it that extra polish. Her submission workshop helped me craft multiple queries and synopses, because just one won’t do – each literary agent has specific things they look for in a query and synopsis. It wouldn’t be the story it is now without input from Barbara and the other writers in those classes. Writers make the toughest critics, but it’s amazing what they see and what you can learn from them. Two of my last beta readers came from that class and were gracious in their willingness to pour over the manuscript after my final revision after the workshop concluded. Each and every one of you has helped me refine this manuscript and also helped me build my confidence. Without that confidence, I'm not so sure I could go through this process. I thank each of you for that.

            

Finally, I’ve taken the scary step of putting it out there. In addition to sending out a few queries, I’ve entered it into RWA’s Golden Heart Contest and a couple of other RWA Chapter Contests.  I'll never know if this thing will fly if I don't push it out of the nest. The manuscript falls in the genre of Women’s Fiction, but it has strong romantic elements. The story is about two people who find each other when neither is interested in sharing their life with anyone else. Their emotional journey in discovering that they might need each other despite not being what the other wants is one fraught with conflict and tension, but sprinkled with laughter and love. In my next few posts, I’ll share more details and an introduction to my characters.

To Anniversaries and Time Well Spent

October is a month of anniversaries for me. The first week of October my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary, and this upcoming week I will celebrate another important milestone. It’s the first anniversary of my first blog post, my first query, and my first rejection.   

After ten rejections, I decided to pull back and reassess. I had great beta reader response to the characters and story, so what might I be doing wrong at the query step? What else might I be doing wrong? I knew I needed a professional to steer me in the right direction. Just as I did when I started my decorative finishing business over a decade ago, I needed to find a great teacher to guide me. The last thing I wanted to do was waste time. If I’m going to invest this kind of time in something, then I want to do it well.

Just as in fine art and decorative arts, there’s a big difference between the professional and the amateur that the untrained eye might not perceive. As I told one of my fellow decorative artists after I began to learn more about the craft of writing, “I had lap lines all over the place.” For those of you unfamiliar with the term ‘lap line,’ it is the ‘veining’ that you sometimes see in glaze work. If the artist can finesse them, they look like veins; if they can’t, they appear as darker lines and areas that ruin the look. Either way, they are something that marks an amateur. To the untrained eye, they might be interesting; but to the trained eye, they are a major mistake that make professionals cringe.

Fortunately, I found Barbara Rogan who taught me how to avoid those ‘lap lines.’ Barbara is a former literary agent, current teacher and editor, as well as author of eight novels. With her critique of my first twenty pages came an invitation to participate in her Revising Fiction Workshop, a once a year, invitation-only boot camp she offers to a select few with completed manuscripts. Boot camp is my name for it because that’s what it felt like. It was rigorous and intense for the eight participants who completed the course. We began in mid-June and finished a couple of weeks ago. I learned more in those four months than I did in all my college writing and literature classes. I may still commit some of those ‘lap lines,’ but now I know how to recognize them and correct them. I’ve also gained a circle of friends who are amazingly talented writers willing to share their time and wonderful stories. I look forward to seeing our collective progress over the next year. We all seem to be similarly obsessed with the craft of writing.

I love writing—much to my surprise, more than I love painting. It’s a very similar process for me, the under painting equivalent to my first draft, the subsequent detail and layering of light and shadow my fleshing out of the setting and characters. The last year was time well spent doing something I love. How can that ever be a waste of time?